Fed up with the shutdown? Finding yourself fuming about the hypocrisy, lack of compassion, and downright lies on the part of the Greedy Old Patriarchs? Wondering how the hell the dumbest pseudo-party known to humankind* gained so much leverage in our nation’s capitol (and garnered so much of its capital)?
Join the club.
But wait—why be so negative? If there are thirteen ways of looking at a blackbird, there have to be at least a few different ways of looking at Congress. And one might just work for you to make the Tea Party shenanigans a little less sickening… that is, unless you’re a federal employee, veteran, are reliant on disability, have a child in a Head Start program, or….
Um, let’s get on with this, shall we?
“Maybe I’m not such a bastard, after all.”
Perhaps you cut off another driver on your way home from work today. Or maybe you cheat on your taxes. Or have listened to your local NPR station regularly for decades without ever making a single pledge. So what? Have you ever shut down the fucking government?
You might be horrible to your partner, treat your underlings with disdain, bill unnecessary international travel to your employer. None of those things compare. Have you ever refused to allow a vote on a clean CR, thereby jeopardizing national security? No? You should get a good night’s rest tonight.
“This is just politics as usual.”
All politicians lie. Both parties suck. They’re both pointing fingers at each other.
Of course it’s true that the Democrats are also refusing to negotiate. Just because the Republicans planned for months to blow up Obamacare by taking the nation hostage doesn’t mean the onus for shutting down the government lies with them. Be fair! The ultra-right wing of the right wing has worked damned hard trying to repeal Obamacare after both houses of Congress passed it. Forty-one failed votes in the House isn’t a cake walk, you know. And taking a case to the Supreme Court is a game of high stakes, one that they happened to lose. So what that the Democrats expect them to throw in the towel! Congress has sworn to uphold our Constitution and represent the American people in Washington, and they’ll continue to pursue those aims, whether or not they’ve read the Constitution or give a flying fuck about what the people want.
“It’ll all blow over.”
Of course it will! Don’t even think about the $300 million this is costing the U.S. economy each day it continues. C’mon—that’s the national equivalent of blowing a few bucks on a Starbucks mocha frappucino every afternoon. Are you on furlough? No? Then why get your panties in a knot over this?
I mean, really—what is it that makes America great? Independence! That’s what we celebrate every July fourth, correct? Does an independent person give a crap whether or not you have access to health care? No! Does it bother an independent person if you’re required to work but have no idea when (or if?) you’ll ever get paid?
What’s the best way to keep this great country from turning into a milksop Socialist dungheap? Not giving a damn about other people. That, my friends, is The American Way. And it’s what Congress is standing for right about now. So hold your head up. We’re Americans. We stand proud. No matter if the country crumbles to bits at our feet.
If you don’t look down, you might not notice.
* Just in case you didn’t get that reference, I’m talkin’ about the Tea Party.
Images: Top: Tea ©limpido Bottom: Coffee © Natali Zakharova Both: Shutterstock