Behold the Furry Underbelly of the Season!

This is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

Thing1Xmastree121113The World’s Naughtiest Kitties are ruining our Xmas! Pictured at right is Thing One, who apparently believes himself prettier than the most sparkling, delicate of Xmas ornaments. We have found flute-playing mice in the bathroom, cloisonné orbs under the sofa, painted wooden whistles in the linen closet, and plush snowmen abandoned on the stairs. These feline horrors have even knocked off the branches themselves. (No. It is not a real tree.)

My last post was about celebrating both Chanukah and Xmas. I am beginning to imagine that Someone is trying to tell me something.

A Sad Tale of Kitty Addiction

We recently purchased this (toy? scratching thing?) to encourage Thing One and Thing Two to claw only specially-designated scratching paraphernalia. Instead, it has created a need where none before existed.


As you can see, this innocuous-seeming device has a cardboard insert in the center, which we ineffectively rubbed with catnip. (Our cats feign nonchalance about catnip.) The outer rim is a track for a plastic ball that can easily be set in motion by kitty paws, making a loud-ish rumbling as it races in orbit. The cats watch in fascination, their heads turning side to side until the ball slows down or stops; then whichever creature is nearer will bat it again. If the ball stops in between them, there will be a moment’s hesitation until one of the two reluctantly gets up to bat at it once again.

Sometimes the cats, like two old retired guys, will play their game for great lengths of time, losing sleep, abandoning all sense of purpose, and making me wonder if I should offer them cigars or glasses of scotch.

Things deteriorate quickly:


Getting sadder


And uglier.


Poor, dissolute souls! I worry about their influence on my son, but we have committed to taking care of these cats and we can’t turn our backs on them now.

I suppose the little guy will have to face the sad realities of this world sometime. Perhaps this will teach him an important lesson about life.

If so, I hope he shares it with me.

5 Responses to Behold the Furry Underbelly of the Season!

  1. I think my cats would like the catnip scratcher in the middle and ignore the ball! No matter what kind of cool toys we get them, they ignore the toys and jump in an empty box…

  2. Yes! Jessie is right. Empty boxes are all that cats need!

  3. I think you two are right. Clearly, we spoil the little buggers.

    I am also wondering when someone will invent a cat that doesn’t require a litter box…….

  4. Ha! I’ve never managed to get our cat to use appropriate scratching surfaces but at least he doesn’t touch our tree. And we used to have that ball toy and he LOVED it!

  5. I think our kitties are the rascally-est rabbits around. Lucky yours doesn’t know them, as they would undoubtedly corrupt him. :) Happy holidays, all!